As many of you know, I was a Political Science major at Emory University, that fine institution that brought us Kenneth Cole and Newt Gingrich. Given my background, I thought you might want some of my intellectual analysis of last night’s Presidential Debate between Barack Hussein Obama and Willard Mitt Romney. Quick aside: imagine if we had a president named Willard Hussein. Just saying.
And now on to the important stuff:
10 minutes into the #Debate & we’ve already said the word “Jeremy” more than any debate ever. So, I’m good.
— Jeremy Goldman (@jeremarketer) October 17, 2012
They said my name again!!! #Debate #HelpJeremyGetAJob
— Jeremy Goldman (@jeremarketer) October 17, 2012
I think we need to hire Jeremy to drill for clean coal and oil. There, 2 problems solved at once.
— Jeremy Goldman (@jeremarketer) October 17, 2012
Mitt Romney looks very, very Presidential now. Meaning, he looks pretty rich, male, and super White. #Debate
— Jeremy Goldman (@jeremarketer) October 17, 2012
One burning Q of mine during the #Debate: how the heck do they get that red carpet so spotless?
— Jeremy Goldman (@jeremarketer) October 17, 2012
Historic moment: first time a candidate has said “sketchy” in a presidential #Debate. Up next: Romney to say “WTF”.
— Jeremy Goldman (@jeremarketer) October 17, 2012
#HeSaidMeToo is not a bad soundbite. #Debate
— Jeremy Goldman (@jeremarketer) October 17, 2012
Why’s the Constitution always the backdrop, each debate? Just once I’d like something new. Like the lyrics to a Ke$ha song.
— Jeremy Goldman (@jeremarketer) October 17, 2012
I love how Romney reemphasizes how he can’t get the names of Caucasian people right. Classy. #Debate
— Jeremy Goldman (@jeremarketer) October 17, 2012
From watching the Q-asking undecided voters in the #Debate, I’ve concluded this: undecided voters apparently look kinda weird.
— Jeremy Goldman (@jeremarketer) October 17, 2012
Romney says a 2-parent household is less often in poverty. Which is true. Imagine if we could make 3-parent households mainstream!
— Jeremy Goldman (@jeremarketer) October 17, 2012
@priyajain0 Apparently, if you’re richer you won’t want an assault weapon? In related news: Romney has 0 assault weapons.
— Jeremy Goldman (@jeremarketer) October 17, 2012
@ashalee126 Fair point! 2 gay male parents lead to a richer household, with better-dressed kids.
— Jeremy Goldman (@jeremarketer) October 17, 2012
Between both debates, Romney has outlined roughly 1,012 things he’ll be doing on Day 1. You need *a lot* of meth for that.
— Jeremy Goldman (@jeremarketer) October 17, 2012
Romney has said “I know what it takes to…” so many times, like he’s trying to convince himself of it. #Debate
— Jeremy Goldman (@jeremarketer) October 17, 2012
Man, when I grow up, I’d sure love a binder chock full o’ women. Then I could be President.
— Jeremy Goldman (@jeremarketer) October 17, 2012
Finally, Romney & Bill Clinton have something in common: both have binders full of women.
— Jeremy Goldman (@jeremarketer) October 17, 2012
